Dear Priscilla, you’re not in a relationship with a Pastor. You’re actually in a relationship with a liar.
Someone that could travel out of town telling you he was going for a program only for him to arrive with no picture or video evidence of same when you requested for one. For days, he had no evidence to show for it.
Worse still, due to your pressure for evidence, he finally shared with you pictures of a program held two years ago. He didn’t expect you’ll find out.
I think your intuition is right that he’s not being true with you. You’ve been suspecting that his life is not straight. There’s something he’s hiding from you and it could be anything. It can even be something that’s going to be life threatening to you later on.
Relationship with a liar can be very difficult. You won’t know what to believe. Of course you can’t even believe it when he says to you “I love you” or when he says, “you’re the only woman in my life.” Liars are difficult to do anything with. Not even business or anything at all, talk less of marriage that’s so permanent and destiny altering.
And you know marriage thrives a whole lot on trust. And trust is fueled by a track record of sincerity and integrity. Without trust, there can’t be genuine intimacy; without trust, you won’t have rest of mind in marriage. To get back your peace, you’ll have to emotionally disconnect from your husband at some point so that whatever he chooses to do or be won’t worry you any longer. And then you’ll be forced to face your children as if they were the ones you married. At 30, your marriage may be already over. Is that the kind of future you’ll like to step into?
In reality, a liar is a direct child of the devil. Our Lord Jesus called the devil the father of all liars.
John 8:44 KJV
[44] Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
My dear, anyone that could lie to you so brazenly is dangerous. There’ll be no basis for you to even evaluate whether he’s good for marriage or not becuase every single factor of his life you could evaluate with could be completely contrived. For instance, it’s actually very likely that this guy is not a Pastor – that he called himself one may itself be a lie. How do you deal with such a person?
You asked me for what you should do. What you should do is to cut the relationship and run. Thank God your relationship is just four months old. You’ve not invested too much. I hope you haven’t because I know that in this our perverse generation, ladies sometimes allow guys to sleep with them even in the first week of relationship. I hope you aren’t like that.
Whatever the case, your future is far more precious than any error you may have committed. Just carry your bag and run. You’ve not yet found a husband material.
You may imagine that you’ll be able to change him. But that’s not in your place. That’s the job of the Holy Spirit if he himself willingly opens the door of his heart for the Spirit of God to come in – which you don’t have any control over.
Marriage is not a conversion program. It’s for men and women who are already converted and matured in character. Anyone who doesn’t fit this requirement is a candidate for foundation Bible school and not premarital counselling class.
Please retrieve yourself on time and trust God for a true son of His whose yes is yes and nay, nay!
Your bother,
PEA.
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