Who says God has a poor aesthetic taste? When He was going to recommend a woman for Isaac, it was a mesmerizing beauty He picked. Someone everybody in town had been chasing around for her phone number without success. Rebbecca can’t walk past without the heads of young men turning to behold the rythymic movement of her elegant derriere and the allure of her ‘two fawns grazing among the lillies’. For short, she was fair to look upon.
On top of this, she was a virgin. She had never known any man. Not because she wasn’t being chased by young men, but because she had a relationship with God she won’t compromise for anything. Some young men had even placed several bets on her virginity. They chased and chased until they got tired. Rebecca wasn’t your regular kind of girl. Her convictions about chastity were deep.
Long before the arrival of the go-between at Mesopotamia, God had declared a search in the spirit realm. There was vacancy for a woman who will become a mother of nations; a woman who will pilot alongside Isaac the eternal covenant of God upon Abraham. So God wasn’t going to pick just any lady for His son Isaac who had also been a very obedient child walking steadfastly according to the covenant God had with his father.
Several names came up for consideration that God didn’t approve of. It was manner of life that disqualified several of them. Though they looked glowing on the outside, the devil had already eaten up the juice of several of their lives at a very young age. The question I want to quickly ask you my reader is whether going by the way you’re currently living your life, whether God can recommend you to a son of His covenant. As a brother, can your manner of life earn God’s commitment to give you one of His best daughters to wife?
Many have the wrong impression that when you trust God for His leading for a life partner, He will give you one ugly, low-value person that you will be unable to relate with. There’s nothing more farther from the truth. God gives good and perfect gifts. Every good and perfect gift comes from above, from the father of light with whom there is no variableness neither shadow of turning. James 1:17.
And so friend, don’t be afraid to allow Him lead the way. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4.
Is it Ok to tell God what you want to see in your partner? Absolutely fine. He’s your Dad. And an unassuming one for that matter. Discuss with Him. Sometimes, He will just approve of your desires without any amendments. But sometimes, if what you’re asking for is something that won’t really help you, He may answer you according to His overriding wisdom and love.
What happens if His answer looks unattractive? The issue is likely the problem of your sight. God can see what you cannot see. Priceless virtues packed inside that vessel that are far more precious than the outward appearance or current social status. “Open my eyes to see what you’re seeing O Lord,” will then be an important prayer to pray. Or else, God cannot give an unattractive gift. In such a situation therefore, let the assurance that His gifts are good and perfect gifts dwell in your heart so you can put the right value on whom God is pointing to you.
Favour is deceitful the bible says and beauty is vain, but a woman that fears the Lord shall be praised. Prov. 31:30.
But Yes, the physical also matters. Modest physical attraction to the person we want to marry is important. However, as you’ll find if you think deeply, hardly is there someone who isn’t beautiful in his or her own unique way. Even if you think you’ve married the most beautiful man or woman, you’ll still meet other shades of beauty and you’re like, this person is also really fine eventhough their physique doesn’t necessarily fit into the Hollywood celebrated stereotype of figure eight and six packs which are mere propaganda by the way (there are several body frames within the mix that are equally super attractive).
There will be a part of everyone’s frame that is exceptionally and uniquely beautiful. Why not focus on those areas of strength and exaggerate them in your heart and speech in order to overwhelm your reluctance? You can then find beauty compliments (or enhancements) for those other areas of not so much strength. Everyone has got one he works on.
Bottom line is that even where God’s recommendation seems unattractive to you, your first impulse must not be to rebuff it completely. That betrays an attitude of ingratitude to God for the precious time He has expended to seek for you a good and perfect gift eventhough you’re not yet seeing it. Your attitude must first be that of deep appreciation for God’s fatherly care and love. Then see how you can work with it. Follow some of the recommendations I’ve shared above.
I also know of a fact that people sometimes become more and more physically attractive to you as you know them deeper and touch their inner beauty. So don’t be too quick to chase this brother or sister away. Befriend them. Make efforts to make it work as a mark of realization that if you unpack the gift patiently enough, you’ll find treasures therein since it came from the Lord. Even if you don’t yet know the gift, you know the giver and His track record. You know He only gives good and perfect gifts.
But if after you make all possible efforts, nothing changes, then with humility go back to the Lord to discuss. Bear your heart out to Him and He’ll show you the way. I do not recommend marriage until attraction is present though. That will be a dangerous venture.
All I’m trying to teach today is the right attitude when God’s recommendation appears unattractive to you. A flippant closure on God’s recommendation for marriage shows disregard for who made the recommendation and that can affect God’s disposition to you in the future. Remember He says He’ll only honour those who honour Him. So don’t flippantly dismiss it. Make some prayerful efforts to work it out first.
The other thing I’ve taught today is that God’s will is not always unattractive. More often than not, the revelation of God’s will makes you dance out of order in excitement. He is a good father. He knows how to give goods gifts to His children.
Will you now give up the efforts to work it out yourself with human wisdom? I was once like you until God came and assured my heart. He said to me audibly on this occasion in an encounter I can never forget, “Son, I’ll give you the best, even that which seems good in your eyes. You focus on preparing for my assignment for you, I’ll sort out who you’ll marry.” It was only then all my haste and agitations ended.
If you believe He’ll also give you the best, can you scream in excitement as you hand everything over to Him in faith? ??? Halleluyah, praise God. What a father we serve, a giver of good things!!! No good thing shall He withhold from them that walk uprightly. O LORD of hosts, Blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.
Psalm 84:11-12 KJV
Your brother,
Peniela E. Akintujoye.
©️Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| hello@lovestraighttalks.com
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