There’s a final question you need to ask him before you begin your own praying and consideration Priscilla. It is the question of God’s vision for his life. We sometimes call this Purpose. Where is he going? What has he come to the earth to achieve for God? What is his life going to be about?
Any Yes to a man that’s not equally a Yes to what his life will be about is a weak Yes.
This is because a man’s purpose usually determines the direction of his life and the investment of his time and resources. It is this purpose that will occupy the biggest chunk of your marriage.
If this is not part of what you put on the table of consideration before you answer the question whether you want to go with this man or not, then you’re not yet a serious person.
You see, I fear for women who are saying yes to a man who is not clear as to what his life will be about at the point of proposal. The danger is that you’ll be saying yes to what is not really clear to you. In the middle of marriage, he then suddenly realizes that the true calling of God for his life is to be a missionary, whereas this was never part of what you envisaged at the beginning of the journey.
It is why it is important for a man to have clarified his mission in life before seeking a life companion. From the outset, both of them will know clearly the nature of future they are agreeing to.
From the point of proposing to Iyebiye, I included as a large chunk of the proposal, what my calling and mission in life is about, including the likely cost and sacrifices that will be required of her and both of us together to execute same.
I knew that if she didn’t have this piece of information to consider in her decision making process, whatever Yes I receive will be one that won’t be able to stand the test of time.
When she finally gave me a Yes, I was sure she wasn’t just saying yes to a young fine lawyer boy who’s stalking her all over town, but to my assignment in life. This point has played a major role in our ability to walk in agreement in all we’re doing today.
And sometimes when a price is required in the direction of the assignment, and she grumbles about the cost, all I need to do is to remind her that I told her from the outset what the journey was going to look like, and she agreed. That will usually end every argument. Imagine I didn’t tell her!
Be sure of what you’re saying yes to precisely Priscilla. Where is this man you want to follow going? What is going to be the pivot of his life? What will his life be about?
If he’s not clear himself about where he’s going, following him will be a game of chance. It may or may not go well.
A man needs to know where he’s going before he says to a woman, “Follow me”. The right question that should follow automatically is, “To where Sir?” If he then says, “I don’t know where I’m going, but follow me still.” If I were you, I’ll hesitate.
I’ll say to that man,
“Sir, first go and clarify where you’re going. You can then return to extend this invitation to me afresh. When I’m clear about where you’re going, I’ll be able to decide if I will like to follow you.”
Does this make sense to you Priscilla?
Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye