Eventhough we know that by the will of God, marriage is meant to be a covenant for life, I think that if couples approach marriage with a mindset of a 4 year renewable term, we will treat ourselves far better than most of us currently do.
The question you must ask yourself is this, if the continuation of my marriage depends on a vote of confidence from my spouse every year or every two years or every four years as the case may be, will I get their vote? Would my marriage continue?
With the way I treat my spouse, are they really happy to stay married to me? Am I making their lives better or miserable? It’s ironic that so many married couples are happily making each other’s lives miserable. And often, each person will find a way to justify their bad behavior citing the earlier bad behavior of their spouse. Whereas, two wrongs never make a right!
If we are to evaluate the way you treat your spouse independent of the way they treat you, will your actions earn a vote of continuity?
I think one of the greatest bane of marriage is that several of us abandon our first works as the marriage increases in years. We get relaxed because we believe our spouse is stuck with us for life no matter how badly we treat them. There’s this negative sense of security that comes on us. We stop being on our toes to ensure we’re really delivering on our manifestos – those promises we reeled out effortlessly when we were still trying to win each other’s hearts.
We chased each other into marriage but suddenly we entered marriage and stopped chasing each other. We can’t see each other’s missed calls in those days and not rush to call back. But now, our spouse’s missed calls don’t mean much to us. We can easily forget to call back. We effortlessly waxed lyrical about our spouse’s beauty and charm in those days, but today it’s been so long that we noticed each other’s beauty not to talk of complimenting it.
In reality, eventhough it is unspoken, none of us is in office for life in our marriages except our spouses continue to vote us back again and again. Many who thought they were in office for life got the shock of their lives when they received court papers for dissolution of marriage when their spouse could no longer endure abuse and maltreatment.
Oh true, God hates divorce and we hate it too – we don’t like to give couples an impression that it’s an option. However even for those who believe that remarriage is sin after divorce, many are okay to separate from their abusive spouses and remain single for the rest of their lives. Is that husband or wife still in office after their spouse packed out?
The bottomline is that there are severe consequences if you continue to treat your spouse very poorly. No matter their doctrinal leaning, it’s only a matter of time.
I encourage you friends to change your attitude to your marriage. Be invested into making your spouse happy and fulfilled that they’re married to you.
Eventhough God intends you to be in office for life, approach your marriage as though it’s a 2 year renewable term so as to remain on your toes; so that if you’re to ask your spouse from time to time as politicians do, is your life in this marriage better today than two years ago, you can get a resounding Yes! And then as you continue with this approach, you can be more sure of remaining in office for life!
Your bother,
PEA.
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