When Jacob was to choose a wife, unlike his father Isaac who approached the matter with much fear, prayers and meditations, it would appear that Jacob’s choice was based largely on the very attractive physical qualities that Rachel possessed. Even the Bible acknowledged that she was beautiful in form and appearance.
His question was not, “who has the capacity to help me deliver God’s eternal purpose for my life in time?” It was about an impeccable nose and derrerrie. The content of the woman was not his concern, he was fixated on the container. And this was a man who was to host, nurture and transfer to the next generation the very precious Abrahamic covenant. He had such a sensitive role to play in God’s eternal purpose but a careless attitude in making the make or mar decision of a life partner.
He just loved Rachel; but that’s not the problem. The problem is that He based his decision solely on that fact. He never sought the face of He who knows the true condition of the heart of all men and who can see the end from the beginning. His decision was totally independent of God. It turned out that Rachel was a very devoted idol worshiper. On her exit, she stole her father’s idols and concealed the fact successfully. What was a man who served the God of Abraham doing in marriage with an idol worshiper? Unequal yoking isn’t it? Rachel eventually did not feature in Jacob’s promised land. She died on her way there. I’m not sure she was a part of it in God’s determinate counsel.
History is replete with the stories of great men and women who had such impressive spiritual CVs but who made terrible marital choices because they never sought the face of the Lord to choose for them a suitable help. They thought they should be able to handle it with their own wisdom.
Whereas, God had long time declared himself the best match-maker when He said to Adam, “I will make you a help suitable (fit) for you.”
Before you can make a fitting clothe for a man as a Tailor, you need to have the man’s measurement. Not a general measurement but one that is specific to the man. You need to know his peculiar frame. Or else the clothe may not enter his neck or may be too big for him to carry.
In the same vein, God has the measurement of all His children. David said, “He knows our frame.” Psalm 103:14a. God knows your frame. He knows exactly what will size you. He knows by preordination our individual paths in life and the peculiar needs that will arise at specific points on that path. That’s because he can see the end from the beginning.
So when God is making a fitting wife/husband for you, He doesn’t only consider your current needs, He looks ahead into the future (which you don’t even know in all finite details) and prepares for you a partner who will be able to rise to the occasion of those future needs.
The challenge is that even you do not know your size because you don’t have all the information about who you are and where you’re going. Only God’s does. Chances are that if you don’t allow God to make for you, to choose for you who He has slimfitted with your size in mind, you will marry either an oversize or undersize.
If you marry an oversize, your life will be clogged with extra luggages which will slow you down in your journey. An athlete who has a race to win doesn’t wear heavy outfits which can be inflated by the wind as he runs, thereby slowing him down. He wears fitted and light clothings. But aren’t you also an athlete competing for a price? You can’t afford to marry oversize if you don’t want to come a distant tenth position in a race that you had capacity to win.
If you really want to maximize the grace of God in your life and become all you were created to be, marrying a partner who is tailor-made for you is very essential.
Conversely, if you marry an undersize, your life’s journey will be discomfiting. There’ll be so much tightness and inconveniences. If it’s a shoe, it will pinch you every step of the way. There won’t be ease and tranquility. May this not describe the kind of marriage we’ll have.
Marry your size. And only God knows what will size you perfectly. It would then be foolishness not to allow Him to take the lead in your choice-making. As from today, I want you to develop a new culture never to ask a woman out until you’ve first taken out time to seek the face of the Lord to receive His counsel on the matter.
And as a woman, you should never say yes to any man (no matter how attractive) until you’ve confirmed from God that you will be a fitting help to his life. And some are plainly sons of belial who are risky to marry. You’ll only know this as you take time to seek the face of the Lord on the matter before any commitments. Not seeking God’s face after countless rounds of smooching and visiting all the night clubs in town.
In the coming weeks, we’ll spend a great deal of time gleaning wisdom week after week regarding how to recognize this suitable help and how to ensure s/he doesn’t escape. ??
Peniela E. Akintujoye.
©️Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| email@example.com