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I believe that a woman should be the President of the kitchen and other domestic affairs in a home. This role may have evolved culturally over the centuries, but certainly the Bible has sanctioned it.

In Titus 2:5, Paul admonished Titus to admonish older women to teach younger women how to be sober, to love their husbands, love their children and among other things, to be KEEPERS AT HOME.
“Keepers at home” was translated as homemakers (NKJV, AMP); workers at home (ASV); managers of their household (BSB); good housewives (GNT).

By virtue of this scriptural provision, the new covenant has therefore sanctioned the role of homemaker and manager which the Proverbs 31 woman presented to us under the old covenant. I therefore want sisters to stop asking for where the Bible asked them to do the cooking for their household. This scripture may have as well settled that question. Cooking and other domestic work are inextricably linked with homemaking and management.

My wife is therefore the President of the Kitchen and other domestic affairs in our home. But I believe I’m the Vice-President. And so like any Vice President, whenever the President is indisposed, unavailable, or the President specifically delegates the duty of his office to his Vice, the Vice President automatically carries out the duties of the office of the President.

Whenever my wife is therefore tired, indisposed, occupied with other important affairs, unavailable, overwhelmed by the enormity of work that needs to be done or she specifically delegates those duties to me, I immediately step in as the acting President of the Kitchen and carry out all the necessary duties with joy.

Growing up, I looked forward to marrying so that I can stop cooking. That was the mindset I grew up with. Until when I started interacting with my discipler who at the time was an associate Professor of Law and Justice of the Court of Appeal of an African country. I noticed that anytime I sleep over in his house, he was always the one who fixes my breakfast. Not once, not twice. One day, we were both in his office, when it was 8pm, he looked at me and said, “Eniayo, we need to go home now. I need to go and fix dinner for my family.” I thought I didn’t hear him clearly.

Apparently they just opened a new business which his wife was manning. That was enough to make him step in fully as the cook of the house. That day I followed “my lord” (as Judges are fondly called) to the house and he cooked melon soup and semovita for the whole family, his children inclusive despite his high position in society. When his wife arrived, she only sat down at table to eat.

These encounters totally changed my perspective in this regard. It then dawned on me that I wasn’t going to marry to stop cooking; I was going to marry to really start cooking.

Looking back into the last one year, I can’t tell you enough the quantum of peace my active role as the Vice President Kitchen affairs has brought to our home. The moment she begins to complain about tiredness in the face of the huge kitchen work she has to do, I often will just tell her, don’t worry, I’ll fix it. When I’m done fixing it, that’s when I hear some of the most romantic comments of our marriage so far.

Anytime there’s no food and I see her dragging feet about going to fix same, yet I don’t want to quarrel because of food, I simply find my way into the kitchen and make food for two, and move on.

There was a time she needed to write an exam and I saw how much she was so cumbered with chores instead of reading, I simply told her, leave the kitchen for me; and that day I made three kinds of soup and stored them in the freezer. We ate them for days. I washed the plates and did every other chore.

As a young man desiring peace in your marriage, I’ll say prepare to be an active vice President in the kitchen when you marry if you really want to have peace in this department, except of course your wife plans to be a full housewife. But even a full housewife is sometimes uninterested, fatigued or unavailable.

If your culinary skills are poor, make conscious effort to sharpen them now. You should be able to make great meals that will be as tasty as what your wife does or even better.

I could have said, if you can’t cook, just prepare a lot of money to buy food outside when your wife is unavailable, but I don’t want you to miss out on all the romantic words that you’ll get as an active V.P; I don’t want you to miss out on the bonding you both will experience by collaborating in the kitchen – she’s making Semovita while you’re cooking the vegetable in the same kitchen and both of you are gisting and fellowshipping every step of the way. We are used to this kind of experience and it’s so much fun. You shouldn’t miss out on such bliss

So rather than ask you to prepare a lot of money to eat out every now and then, I’ll say, sharpen your culinary skills so as to be a competent Vice President that can collaborate with your wife in her presence or get things done singlehandedly in her absence.

This is one of the important signposts towards marital peace. Don’t mistakenly miss it!

Your brother,
Peniela E. Akintujoye.

©️Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| hello@lovestraighttalks.com


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