After reading last week’s talk (Romantic Due Diligence), a lady wrote me. Today’s talk is a direct response to all the questions she asked. She had at some point in her life admired the idea of finding a life partner through deliberate divine orchestration. She was done with youthful experimentation. So she began to pray. Not long after, a charming young man came around who appeared interested. He will ask intimate questions that suggested only one intent. At least she thought. Before long she began to have different dreams which she believed were prophetic confirmations that her suspicion was true. Feelings welled up, intimacy grew. Finally she wanted to be double sure and decided to go by way of fleece. The type Gideon did. Lord if you’re the one, let me be posted to so and so state out of these three states I’ve picked. Lo and behold she was posted to that state. She felt this was God bringing a confirmation. She was now sure. He is the one. Until one day when the guy said to her, “I’ll like to introduce someone to you.” Your guess is as good as mine.
Now before I delve into the merit of the story above, let’s first address the question based on the assumption the lady had that she had heard from God. Let’s assume with her that she was right. The question is could she be right and yet the guy rejects her? In other words, why will God show you someone as His will for you in marriage when He knows fully well that the person will reject you? After all, God is omniscient. He should know if the guy will accept you or not even before telling you about him.
If I may be blunt, the omniscience of God as popularly projected in religious circles is exaggerated especially as it relates to acts and conducts of men – free moral agents. There is just no scriptural support for it.
In Genesis 18 for instance, God made the following statement to Abraham:
And the Lord said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous; I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know. Genesis… Click To Tweet
Some of you need to read that again. A cry had come up to God about the sins of Sodom. That suggests God uses some delegated reporting systems to gather his information. Maybe angels or CCTV or some other satellite systems. (Just trying to use some modern terms) He now wanted to go down to Sodom to see for himself whether or not the reports he had received were true. So simply put God wasn’t sure if they were true. He needed to go confirm.
In Genesis 22 when God tested Abraham, after Abraham passed the test, God said the following:
“And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for NOW I KNOW that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.”
Genesis 22:12 KJV
God could not be sure about Abraham’s tendencies until he tested him. Of course earlier in Gen 18:19 God had boasted that He knew Abraham and what he could do. However, for God to be double sure, He needed to bring a bigger test. We know him quite alright to some extent but maybe when we try and take his only beloved son, a different Abraham may emerge. This suggests that God’s accurate knowledge of a man is directly proportional to the amount of test he has been subjected to. You want God to trust you more, you are inviting more tests a.k.a trials. Not temptations. God doesn’t tempt, he tries. It’s the devil that tempts. (James 1:13) Compare with (James 1:2&3 NKJV).
You see God made man to be a freewill being. Angels too. He wanted us to be free moral agents who can choose whatever we like. He wanted beings who will love him by choice and not by force. You can’t boast of someone’s love who is compelled to love you – who has no choice. True love is founded on free will.
Now it seems that in respect of the actions, conducts and choices of men, God has deliberately limited His omniscience in order to respect the sovereign will of man. If God predetermines my actions by “pre-knowing” them, I’m no longer a free moral agent. It means I’m constrained to doing what God has predetermined. I won’t have a choice in the circumstance. This already contradicts free moral agency.
Maybe now you can make sense out of Genesis 6:5&6
“And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And it repented the Lord that He had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.”
“Repent” is another word for “regret”. So God regretted making man on the earth. Another way to describe regret is, “Had I known.” If He knew before hand that they’ll disappoint Him and yet claims to be regretting that He made them, it would mean God is acting Nollywood movie for us. He is not. He genuinely was surprised about their actions.
So did God know Adam and Eve will disobey him. The answer is No. Same for Lucifer. And so it is not true that God already knows all those who will be in heaven with Him and those who will be lost. That’s within the realm of the free choice of man and God has deliberately limited His knowledge in that zone.
There are too many scriptures to further prove the limited omniscience of God in His dealings with free moral agents. Let’s stop at the ones above.
So if God tells you about a woman, she can turn out to reject you. God didn’t know she will reject you. She’s a free moral agent. God was as surprised as you that she rejected you. Of course God can influence her not to reject you. Maybe speak to her also that you’ll be good for her. She may however nevertheless not bulge.
This is the same reason I do advise people to make their decisions on whether they want to proceed with someone into marriage based on the facts that emerge in the courtship and not some “God told me.” “God told me” can help you to choose the right person for a courtship. The facts that emerge in the courtship should however confirm what God has told you. If you got into the courtship and discovered you have a monster, back down, that God said it notwithstanding. When God was recommending him to you, he was still a good man probably. Why God recommended him. Sometimes God did that because He expected him to continue to respond to teachings and the mentorship of the mentors He has given to him. So God felt if He did that, there won’t be any problem. Now he has not followed all these things by His own free choice. God is not responsible for his choice. God is surprised and disappointed as much as you.
Now of course, God can look at the actions of a man and his thought patterns (Psalm 139:1&2) including the influences He has surrounded himself with and based on this make a projection about his future and his tendencies except he changes. (Genesis 18:19)
Of course God can violate the will and wishes of man and impose His own will when his eternal purpose or his word is at stake. He did this severally to Pharaoh, Nebuchadnezzar and countless others. But this doesn’t relate to marriage. In which part of God’s word is it written that you must marry Bro Kunle and no one else?
If you’re in a relationship that was orchestrated by God, you should now know that the success of that relationship depends on much more than God said it. You guys have immense roles to play to make it a success. From my experience, that God said it could make your work easier however.
If this is the way things are, what then is the point in wasting time to seek God’s face for a life partner. The point is in that even the limited information that God has by which He could make near accurate projections into people’s future, you don’t have it.
Let’s talk about the other aspect of dreams and visions and fleece next week.
I hope this provided some good understanding?
God bless you.
Write me via: firstname.lastname@example.org