I read the true life story of a young lady. She was sixteen and in her first year at the university. She fell in love with a final year medical student.
She was quite innocent when their love began, unlike the guy. It was him who introduced her to sex. He was her first love and so really, the relationship was utterly exploitative and manipulative considering her tender age and naivity.
He would beat her, use her money, abuse her emotionally and yet the girl was stuck to him. They recorded a sex video one of those days. The relationship broke at some point courtesy of the young lady when the abuse reached its crescendo. She left him for another man. The guy was bitter, had his pride wounded.
He had thought he had her in his pocket. Fast forward to a few years down the line, this lady made good success in her work and had become rather well known.
On the eve of her wedding, the ex-boyfriend out of revenge for the break up several years earlier released their sex tape into the internet. Of course, it went viral. You can imagine the implication this had for her life, her career, her marriage, her in-laws. Better imagined.
All the advice that could be offered the young lady was to stay strong. What else? Of course, she had to stay strong.
And her husband ought to stand by her despite how difficult that will be, at least to prove to the guy that he’s a loser. It’s a past life. We all have one.
Some though may be more egregious than others but the truth is we all at some point experienced the foolishness of youth and did things we’ll rather not talk about.
But really, the young lady would have wished that video was never taken. Would have wished he never met that guy, would have wished she never probably entered a relationship that naive and inexperienced.
The gist is most of us would not wish to ever be in the shoes of this lady. It’s an experience that may be too heavy for our emotional capacity. One may land in Aro, Abeokuta- a psychiatric hospital as a result. Yet by hovering around premarital sexual relationships, we are always playing around scandals that can ruin our life now or in the future. I haven’t heard of any sex between a man and his wife that turned scandalous. They are married. Nothing defamatory about whatever happens between them.
Now, this is the contrast. Some of us probably could never have been in those situations, not because of our works or goodness but because of God’s mercy and the circumstances of our growth.
We just weren’t allowed to move close to the circumference where such may have happened to us. We had parents who fed God’s word into our hearts, who taught us principles that didn’t make sense then, who insisted on certain boundaries that we loathed but later have come to appreciate growing up.
Through secondary school, we were sent to schools which were as good as Bible schools. Disciplers were even allotted to us among our teachers. They monitored everything. At home, no visit to the opposite sex was allowed and of course, they thought us what never to watch on TV.
There were certain pictures we never saw until adulthood. But beyond these boundaries, many of these parents were utterly prayerful. There were those times we were bent on going astray and at the verge of being totally lost but an invisible hand rescued us.
Somewhere along the line after being forcefully pulled a great distance, we willingly gave our lives to the Lord and have consciously followed His principles ever since. By that mere fact, there are complications of life that many have to contend with that we may never experience. A man of principles will have fewer problems and so we need fewer miracles.
I just want to tell you that following God and His ways excludes you from several life complications that many have to contend with. It delivers you a sweet, free life.
Look through Reasons 1-9 and you’ll see a common thread that runs through all – complications! One of the purposes I wanted to achieve by writing the last nine reasons why you should not have or continue premarital sex is to show you intelligently and with life examples that obeying the law against premarital sex will deliver you from several marital complications which are really life complications.
You may want to read each of those reasons one after the other again. In the end, you’ll find that God isn’t narcissistic. Every instruction and law in His word is for our own good.
And there are daily life examples of the burdensome consequences of not following those principles in the lives of those who don’t; showing us what God wanted our lives to avoid.
If I had said the tenth reason why you should not have premarital sex is that God said so, our generation will rise up in opposition. But isn’t that a solid tenth reason or even the first reason?
We are in a generation that loathes “God said”. Someone once told me, “that God said it isn’t enough.” While we must appreciate the fact that there is nothing God says or instructs without wisdom behind it, we still need to know that even where we haven’t yet wrapped our hands around the underlying wisdom, we have an obligation to obey in deference to our confidence in God’s wisdom.
We need to remind our generation about the moral authority of God over mankind. He really doesn’t need us to confer legitimacy on Him by a referendum. He has it under intellectual property laws. We are His intellectual property, His design. He has patent rights on the design and the operating system just like Mark Zuckerberg does on Facebook.
But because we are His intellectual property, like a father he tends and cares for us. Without Him, there is no us. In Him, we live and move and have our being. In other words, we are a product of His investment. And He has spent so much to sustain our lives That’s a moral justification for His authority over us.
And so dear brothers, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living sacrifice, holy- the kind he can accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask? (Romans 12:1 Living Bible).
This is the question I like to ask you as I close this series. When you think of all His goodness, His love, His tender mercies in your life, His lifting, His protection, the fact he is the owner of your breath and has graciously released it to you at no cost; is asking you to stay clear of premarital sex and other forms of immorality too much for Him to ask from you in return?
You had thought giving a fat offering, or dancing well during praise and worship was the great way to pay him back but you know you’re wrong.
God has never been excited about sacrifices and offerings as He is about the doing of His will. “In sacrifices and offerings thou has never had pleasure, but a body has thou prepared for me, to do thy will O Lord.” (Hebrews 10:5)
The sacrifice God desires is a broken spirit. He will not reject a broken and repentant heart (Psalm 51:17 NLT).
Even though this is a very adulterous and perverse generation, I want my life to introduce a “but” to the narrative: “but Peniela was a pleasure to the Lord.” How many of you will like to join me in this oath of consecration? Where are you?
God bless you.
Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye.