Since we started our talk on the ten reasons not to have or continue premarital sex, I believe a lot of you have made a decision or the other to preserve yourself sexually pure going forward. Some of you wrote to me and told me that. I’m excited but I think I should bring further instructions on the “how” of staying sexually pure. The ten reasons looked at “why”. In “how” I want to look at what daily life culture, for instance, increases your vulnerability to sexual immorality? What new habits do you cultivate that makes purity so easy to achieve? I’m sure you like to have it easy. So come on.
While I was in junior secondary school, there was this girl named Mary. She was huge and very strong. We nicknamed her “Ofiliganga”. In English, the closest word that can explain “ofiliganga” is ” giant”. So think about “Mary the Giant.” Mary wasn’t really an excellent student academically but she was excellent when it comes to mortal combat. I was the academic king of the class. She was the combat king. Only very few guys could take Mary on. And those guys weren’t really our age range. They are the oldies who really should have been six years our senior going by their age. Mary will beat up all of us in her age range. She did severally. Her reign was like the reign of the Philistines over Israel. Now, haven seen how Mary had mercilessly beaten up some of the guys I considered very strong, I didn’t need to try to know she would literarily swallow me if we attempted a fight. Maybe grind me into powder, pour the powder in water and drink it. Considering my frame and inexperience in physical combats, I had no fighting chance.
There are certain indulgence that reduce your fighting chance when it comes to living a sexually pure life. They weaken your inner capacity of resistance silently and gradually until there is nothing left. Take pornography for instance. It does to your “purity project” what HIV does to the immune system. Every day in an infected person, HIV destroys billions of infection-fighting cells, until the immune system is no longer able to regenerate or fight other infections. There is a “Sexual Immorality Infection-fighting cell” in everyone. What pornography does is to kill that cell and walk away.
It gets so bad to a point, every time you see the opposite sex, the first thing that comes to your mind is sex. You see them as sex objects. A lady is standing in front of you and with your inner eyes you’ve taken the clothing off her body and you’ve gotten her pornographic image. You’ve taken her to bed and back without leaving the spot where you’re sitting. It’s called space travel.
There is a reason most “pornographers” masturbate. The sexual appetite pornography releases into the body are as potent as the atomic bomb. It’s untamable. It must find expression. Now it can be serious bondage trying to stay sexually pure with those raw appetites unleashed. It’s easier if they are not unleashed. And in this generation of tight trousers and tight short skirts that leave nothing to the imagination, you’re in for serious trouble. As you move in the midst of the opposite sex, you will feel like grabbing those derrières from behind. So the chances of success of your sexual purity project begin with taking a stand against pornography of all forms. And that’s serious work in the internet age.
Now the devil knows that some of you are quite sanctimonious and will not likely go to a full-scale pornographic site or go buy a disc that is full-scale porn. You have too much of a living conscience to do that. So he devised another strategy. There will be a completely different storyline in the movie which he knows you’ll like. But strategically in the movie, there will be one or two or three scenes of a lady that just finished leaving the bathroom and the playwright thought it was our business to see how she dressed up in full glare. They must think we have something to learn from that. Now, five years after watching that movie, even if you forget every other thing in the movie, you won’t forget those porn scenes. That’s to tell you the message the devil really wanted to pass across were those pictures. The storyline was just mere wrapping paper.
This is why as a policy, I don’t watch secular entertainment movies as a general rule. There are exceptions. This movie “Three idiots” was an exception. The movie had too much important message to pass across that it didn’t have time to be showing us rubbish. Saving such movie, I won’t sit with you to watch a secular movie. I’m sorry, I’m just trying to increase my fighting chance.
The same goes for secular music videos. Their marketing strategy is sex appeal. It's why those dancing girls are scantily dressed. And the way they will be twisting their waste and sticking out their tongues. Pure sexual energy they are pushing out.… Click To Tweet
There are too many good, excellent, entertaining Christian movies in our time. God practically raised people to fill this void. Watch “Courageous”, “Fireproof”, “Miracle from Heaven”, “Abejoye”- 100% fun yet edifying content. These movies in standard and excellence of delivery stand shoulder to shoulder with any of these “viruses” you call movies flying around. I use this opportunity to celebrate all of God’s servants holding the fort in this sphere of influence. Your work is as important as that of the General overseer whose billboard is all over town though you sometimes appear obscure. Thank you for giving us good alternatives to relieve stress, get entertained yet edified for good works.
Since I know you certainly have taken in some wrong pictures in the past just like me, even if you won’t take in more, you need to deal with those ones to increase your fighting chance. Let me tell you what to do. Starve those pictures of meditation. Meditation is their strength. So you need mental governance. Ability to dictate to your thought what it must think. The same way you see a lady and your mind moves to strip her in your imagination and you say a big no. Then you deliberately direct your thoughts elsewhere. Meditation is the strength of pornographic pictures. Starve, starve. starve. Take charge of your thought. After some time of starving, the picture will lose its power. Don’t tell anybody that I told you this secret. Abeg, tell everybody. Let the devil get mad.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. (Philippians 4:8).
A sister shared the following words regarding her own fight against lustful thoughts.
“Never take the idea of telling the Lord your feelings and desires for granted. Seriously!
During a period, my mind was constantly bombarded with erotic thoughts! I knew my hellish fiends were close by. I tried everything, bound them, rebuked them, cast down imaginations and high things, took every thought captive, sang spiritual songs. NO WAY! ALL TO NO AVAIL.
Several times, I gave in and allowed my mind screen play the erotic scenes that I’ve watched; of course my body responded very well.
But, knowledge that so much was at stake, that I was losing rather than winning, that by this I wasn’t gathering the spiritual strength I fasted for, but actually losing it….you know…these thoughts will come back in and weak, frustrated, feeling hopeless, I will summon up strength to ward off the thoughts again.
Intense feelings of guilt would sweep in, in waves…but it was at this point that my victory kind of started. I had been bedmates with guilt for years…over things others wouldn’t even blink. Right from my teenage years. It took me until 1st year in university before I stood convinced that I was born-again! Any mistake (like taking meat from the soup pot, lying, etc) plunged me into weeks of feeling so guilty, and entertaining condemning thoughts from the devil that I wasn’t a child of God after all. The only way I usually got out of it was to repent and give my life to Jesus again by responding to an altar call in church. I can’t tell you how many times that happened!
So, I had had that stint with guilt; when it wanted to come up again during that fast, I just told it straight up that I won’t take its nonsense!
Scriptures like while we were yet sinners, Christ died for the ungodly came to my mind and I spoke it out! I addressed the demons and said, “No matter what you do, I won’t give up! For though a righteous man falls seven times, he shall surely rise again!”
I told them, “Even in this sin/mistake and error, I know that my God still loves me, and is even now here with me, for He said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you, and lo, I am with you even to the end of the age.”
I reminded them that Col 2:13 says that while still in my trespasses and uncircumcission of my heart (while still entertaining erotic thoughts and masturbating) that God quickened me with Christ, having forgiven ALL my trespasses.” That God has already forgiven me in Christ even before I ask Him, all I need do now is to receive that forgiveness and I receive it!”
I even taunted them that they are the ones that will never have forgiveness, as they were not the apple of the Father’s eyes, and their fate and end has been sealed eternally! So revved up was I in my spirit, I was just lashing out at the enemy with the sword of my tongue, using the word of God. It momentarily stopped the inflow of the erotic into my mind.
But permanent victory came, when just from nowhere, this sliver of an idea entered my mind, that why not channel your thoughts and feelings to Jesus during those episodes of erotic imaginations? When you have these thoughts, it’s usually someone you have in mind, a lover. Well, Jesus is the Lover of your soul. He’s the Bridegroom of the church so talk to Him and let Him know what’s going on in your mind during those times…I acquiesced.
Brethren, I can’t disclose the things I have shared with the Lord here on this platform! But let me just let it out that, every possible fantasy in the sexual realm, discussion, description, whatever! I have lived it out with that Man of Galilee!
I first started by accepting that suggestion and saying, “Ok Lord, you’re my Lover now. This body belongs to you! You have double rights to this body (creation and redemption) so I might as well hand it over to you officially. Take it. All its members are yours Lord. My entire sexuality belongs to You, Jesus. You fashioned me as a sexual being. Help me! Take over my sexual members and use it for yourself. Presently Lord, this is how I feel (You don’t want to hear this part)…help me, take me…touch me, hold me…since You’re my Husband and Lover. I have no one to help me out in this matter, You are my only help. Jesus Help me.
It kept like this for like three days, each time the thoughts poured in. I will refuse to focus on the human object behind the thoughts but deliberately make Jesus the object, telling Him I needed Him to hold me, touch me, do whatever sexual need my body felt at that time, because He is my husband and lover and my body belongs to Him.
People of God, this forms part of how I recorded permanent victory over erotic thoughts and imaginations! I had handed over my entire sexuality with all my sexual members (this include my brain-the brain is a powerful sex organ, eyes, breasts and genitals) and told the Holy Spirit to sanctify them, keep them in safe keeping for me, until He desires to use them for His glory.
Till date, the erotic has not visited my mind again my people. It even got me bothered that ah! will I be able to respond to my husband when He comes, (because I had believed I need to imagine sex to be able to fully participate)…but I kept sensing the Holy Spirit’s assurance that I was OK. I left off worrying and told myself, when the husband comes, and time reaches, what will be will be. I don’t have to damage myself before time in the name of doing mental rehearsals for sex!
I thank God. It’s been His great power and mercy. Nothing else!
Don’t be shy or shrink away from exposing all your secret fantasies to Jesus. Bring out everything to the open to Him. That’s how both of you will be able to work it out, for He will surely help you!”
Isn’t that powerful? Please make use of every wisdom shared above. Increase your fighting chance. God bless you.
Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye.