There’s a reason Abraham forbade his servant from picking a wife among the Canaanites for his son Isaac. It was going to be a fundamentally flawed option. The Canaanites were a no no if a godly, peaceful and purposeful marriage is anything desired. They were akin to a decomposing corpse. No amount of perfuming can surpress the obnoxious smell. God’s only solution was avoidance.
He warned Israel all through their biblical history never to consider marriage with the Canaanites as according to Him, surely, they will become to them (the Isrealites) a snare and will turn their hearts away from the Lord.
In today’s world, Canaanites represent anyone who is a foreigner to the Commonwealth of Zion. Who is an alien to Zoe – the very life of God. Someone who has not experienced the washing of regeneration and the renewing of the Holy Ghost. Such ones are Canaanites and they don’t deserve your prayers of consideration because God’s word is already clear regarding them. When they bring their proposals to you, turn it down and end it there. And as a man, don’t ever consider even praying about such women whether they are God’s will for you. They aren’t and they can never be. God’s counsel to you is to avoid them like a plague.
Now I understand sadly that there are many people who identify with the church, who bare our names, who call themselves Christians and appear to be from the promised land, but they are Canaanites at heart. It can be so easy to fall into the hands of those ones. If an idol worshiper approaches you for marriage, maybe you may easily sense the reg flag. But what about the James-es, Priscilla-s, Paul-s but who are Canaanites?
I found that most of us don’t know how to really identify a genuine child of God. Sadly, many of us think we are ourselves genuine but sincerely we are far from it. Many of those thronging the church every Sunday have really never been saved.
Just like a sister who wrote me recently. According to her, her fiance is born again but hasn’t given it all up to God. And part of what he hasn’t given up is a life of willful present continuous fornication.
This is not someone that desperately wants to stop but hasn’t gotten sufficient strength to break an addiction. This is someone that is holding his chest out and fighting her – including threatening her he’ll leave – for saying they shouldn’t have sex in their relationship. He even told her that since she sins in other ways, why does she think refraining from fornication is sufficient to give her right standing before God. That’s him theologically attacking the usefulness of her righteous pursuit. And yet to her, he is born again. I couldn’t hide my disdain.
I’m not sure you know what it really means to be born again. You think it’s just about confessing an historical event and claiming to agree with it? Yes, that’s how the ‘process’ of being born again begins but it goes beyond just a mental consent to an historical event, it has to involve a heart transaction of repentance from dead works and faith in the finished work of Christ, which where genuine cannot leave the life of the fellow the same way.
Where someone has been genuinely born again, the result of what his life will look like is documented in 1 John 3:1-10. Go and do a proper study of this passage. Read it in all versions. You’ll find one conclusion that is without controversy there. Anyone who is born again doesn’t make a practice of sinning (disobeying God) – his system no longer finds sin convenient not to talk of being an advocate of it like this guy. Those who are born again possess the ‘seed’ of God – the spermatozoa of God. The implication is that by the introduction of God’s spermatozoa into them, they receive His DNA and begin to resemble Him – this changes their nature completely from that which loves to sin to that which detests it.
In their journey to entrenching this new nature, they MAY make some accidental slips sometimes; but their response to those slips – the godly sorrow that follows and quick repentance, coupled with a determination not to repeat the error – will confirm to you that their life is no longer a natural habitat for sin. This is the real proof of whether someone is born again or not.
Whether a man or a woman, he that commits sin – even if it is lying or just malice and bitterness – (flippantly, happily, remorselessly and habitually) is of the devil. 1 John 3:8. Hard truth – but we better reconcile ourselves with the truth of the Bible. Such people of this nature are not worth praying about for marriage. They are not born again and are not marriable. The most urgent thing in the lives of such people is salvation and not marriage.
They are not marriable because we are talking of a marriage that will bring you joy and peace and we are convinced that the only way to joy and peace in marriage is the continuous expression by the couple, of the practical life of Christ (the fruits of the Spirit) while the sinful human nature remains neutralized. See, those who are not born again do not possess this capacity.
“Oh Sir, I believe I am born again but I really haven’t noticed any serious changes in my life. I still wallow indeed in sin of all kinds.” Well, maybe you were not led to “Christ” through the door of – a message that convicted you of sin leading to godly sorrow, leading to repentance, leading to Salvation. This is how to be genuinely saved with an evidence of a changed life. See 2 Corinthians 7:8-11. (Reach out to me if you need further help on this).
And you may have been genuinely brought into Christ at the beginning but no one discipled you. No one exposed you to the good word of God that brings spiritual maturity. Maybe all they talk about in your church 58 sundays in a year is how to make it and how to fight all the enemies in your father’s house. Such emphasis cannot make anyone grow progressively into the image of Christ. For indeed, there are two agents in the new birth, the Spirit and the Word. Not just to be born of the Spirit, but the Word too. Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever.
1 Peter 1:23 KJV
If what I’ve said above describes you or your prospect, what you should focus upon now is not making a choice but being born of the Word. If you go into a relationship or marriage in this state, you will only be a thorn in the flesh of your partner.
Brothers shine your eyes, from afar you can easily know them. Sometimes it’s their way of dressing that exposes them. They are nudity ambassadors and usually excessively obsessed with fashion trends. Modesty is never their watchword. It’s not their fault, it’s the life they carry. Listen to them speak, their speech is filled with vulgar languages and worldly slangs. Check their phones and see the kind of songs they love to hear. See those they celebrate on social media. You don’t need to consider these ones at all. They are of this world. Don’t waste your time wasting God’s time.
Peniela E. Akintujoye.
©️Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| firstname.lastname@example.org