I learnt that some of our brethren who believe that God has stopped choosing wives for people after the fall of Adam’s marriage have relied on Genesis 24 as an authority to support their belief.
Genesis 24 is about the most comprehensive account in the bible regarding a spiritual way of approaching the choice of a marriage partner. It was the story of how a wife was gotten for Isaac to marry.
My conclusion is that Genesis 24 actually proves the opposite of what those our brethren believe it proves. It proves that God still chose for someone long after Adam’s marriage collapsed. I continue to wonder how anyone can believe otherwise.
Abraham was getting old and felt his son Isaac was old enough to have a wife. He called his Chief of Staff by the name Eleazar and instructed him to vow never to marry a wife for his son from among the Canaanites. Canaanites were not a pure adamic stock. They were giants – descendants of fallen angels. God later outrightly forbade Israelites from marrying from among them.
The similitude of that today is to tell a son never to marry someone who is not born again. You don’t need God’s special leading to know that your choice should only be among your own kindred. And if you’re born again, your own kindred are those who share the nature of God with you. You don’t have any business looking outside that bracket. That was exactly what Abraham was doing. To make the choice process easy, he first identified those it cannot be. This is called elimination method.
Haven decided those it cannot be, he asked his servant to go to his country and to his own kindred and choose a wife for his son. He was confident that his son will find a good wife in that environment. Even today, there are environments that increase your chances of getting a good partner. That’s where to look into. Yoruba people always say, “a wife that you married with the tool of a good dance, will eventually be lost watching entertainment shows.” Where you marry from and what she based her decision upon is a determinant matrix of the strength and possible longevity of that marriage.
But note that Abraham did not tell Eleazar where exactly he should go within his city. He didn’t give him any specific address. The City of Nahor (also known as Haran) was a big place. Why it qualifies to be called a city. Terah (Abraham’s Dad), Abraham, Sarah and some other relatives had migrated from Ur to that city. And so they weren’t the founders of the city. They weren’t the ones that named it Haran. It was already so called before they got there. It therefore suffices to say that other families apart from Abraham’s lived in that city. See Genesis 11:31.
If this was an ‘arrangee’ choice-making as some have alleged, Abraham should have given Eleazar a specific address to go to. When Eleazar got to Haran, he didn’t even enter the city before God prospered his mission. He simply stood at the outskirt of town where there was a well of water usually thronged every evening by young ladies of marriageable age.
I suppose that if Abraham had instructed him to go and marry from his family house specifically, Eleazar wouldn’t have stopped at the entrance of the city. He would have gone to the specific address of Abraham’s family house within the city. As it later turned out, Rebecca was Abraham’s direct relative but that was God’s making, not Abraham’s or Eleazar’s. Eleazar had stood at the well of water at the outskirt of the city, waiting for the daughters of the land to come out to fetch water and willing to pick anyone at all that God would point out to him.
See the prayer he prayed:
And he said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham. Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water: and let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.
Genesis 24:12-14 KJV
Eleazar was ready to say, “Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink,” to as many damsel as possible who would come to fetch water at the well that evening. If the damsel didn’t answer as he had prayed, he would have simply moved to the next damsel and the next one. That the first damsel that came was Rebecca and that she answered as he had prayed was not his making at all. It was God’s making who would not even allow His servant to be stressed even a little bit.
Do you know that up until this point, Eleazar never knew Rebecca had any connection with Abraham? He had given her the golden earring and all the other presents he brought before asking her whose daughter she was. When she answered and he realized she was Abraham’s direct relative, that only further confirmed God had led him. He then bowed down to worship and said the following words confirming the entire orchestration was the Lord and not him or Abraham.
“And the man bowed down his head, and worshipped the LORD. And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of my master Abraham, who hath not left destitute my master of his mercy and his truth: I BEING IN THE WAY, THE LORD LED ME to the house of my master’s brethren.” Genesis 24:26-27 KJV
(Words in capital mine).
I don’t think there’s a need to say more. In this account, God clearly led Eleazar to identify a suitable wife for Isaac of the many daughters of the men who lived in Haran just as he had prayed.
How can a man determine a suitable woman to marry out of the millions of women in the body of Christ or the hundreds around him who are of his kindred? He needs this same kind of leading and God still provides same long after the fall of Adam.
But as you can see, He only provides such a service to someone who asks Him for same. Eleazar prayed several times pleading with God to be involved in the process and to lead the process. God accepted to be involved and He did lead him.
If you’ll freely invite God into your own choice-making also, He will happily be involved. But if you feel you won’t need His services, no problem at all. He will still wish you well. If you get your fingers burnt in the process, He will still welcome you and see what may be gathered of the pieces of your life. He is such a loving and large-hearted father.
But I wonder why someone will have such a super intelligent, all-knowing father and ignore Him in the first place. What do you say? The choice is totally yours.
Peniela E. Akintujoye.
©️Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| email@example.com