The other day when Pastor Adeboye celebrated his wife’s submission on her birthday; and stated that she says “Yes sir” to his instructions; and that she still cooks his meal, serves him herself and trims his nails; our generation’s female folk went for his neck. To them, that is too far. You don’t have to go that far to show that you’re submissive and respectful towards your husband they said.
When we hear testimonies of women – top executives sometimes – but who on their own volition choose to honour their husbands by greeting them on their knees each morning, our generation’s female revolt violently against that. You don’t have to greet on your knees to show you respect your husband they say.
When they now hear the Bible’s record of Sarah who addressed her husband as, “my lord” they feel extremely irritated. What kind of human-worship is that?
You also don’t have to set his meal on the table to show you honour him. He should be able to pick it himself and return his plate to the kitchen. You don’t have to use honorific pronouns for him too. You don’t need to do all those to show you honour him. Then of course, when you’re addressing him, you can talk to him anyhow. Who doesn’t talk to their husbands anyhow in the face of a quarrel anyway? Is he not their baby? What’s the big deal with that? That you talk to him anyhow doesn’t mean you don’t respect him.
Let me shock you? I totally agree with you sincerely. You don’t have to do all the above to show you respect and submit to your husband. Some husbands are sincerely indifferent to some of the scenarios I described.
But if I may ask you my sister, and I wish you can answer me sincerely, I hope there are other ways by which you’re fulfilling your biblical obligation of honouring your husband? If yes, what are the other ways? Pause and answer the question. And did he confirm to you that he feels respected by those other ways you chose by yourself?
I had thought that rather than agree with the blanket generalization that you don’t need to do all of the above scenarios to show you respect your man – that you really ask him if he’ll really feel more respected if you do any of the above? Have you ever asked him genuinely as a woman who sincerely desires to fulfill her biblical obligation?
If you have other ways by which he confirms to you he feels honoured by you, then in all honesty, I’m fine; and by that you’ll have fulfilled your Likewise. But I expect that you know that it is what he considers respectful that matters; not what you think is respectful. A man should never love a woman the way he thinks she should be loved but the way she wants to be loved. In the same vein, a woman should not respect a man the way she thinks he should be respected, but the way he wants to be respected.
To that extent, if your man by the slightest hint appears to feel more respected by you setting his table specially or by you addressing him with honorific pronouns or by you kneeling in the morning to greet him (or any other form of greeting in your culture that depicts honour), or by you speaking to him respectfully, should that be a big deal for you as a Christian sister? A daughter of Sarah?
The ditch I don’t want you to fall into my sister is where many married women of our time have found themselves already. In the process of saying you don’t need to do this and that, to show you respect your husband, unknown to them, there is actually nothing left that will make him feel respected that they have not removed from the list.
Yet, one of your important Likewise obligation that the bible in 1 Peter 3:1-6 revealed is to be in subjection to your own husbands – to subordinate yourselves to them, to reverence them and as Amplified Bible (classic edition) described reverence in that 1 Peter 3:2 – respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband].
1 Peter 3:2 AMPC
LIKE JESUS MY SISTERS, he submitted to the father and deeply deferred to Him. He wouldn’t even say nor do something without a clearance from the father. He testified and said, “I say nothing of myself but whatever the father asks me to say.” John 12:49. What a great level of submission! On another occasion, he had a will different from the father’s will but gave up his own ultimately and said, “not my will, but thine will be done O Lord.”
Note that Jesus submitted to the father not because the father was superior to him. They were equal in status from all eternity. The bible told us that. “Who though equal with God did not count equality with God something to sit tight with… but he humbled Himself.” Phil. 2:6
Just for the sake of achieving the purpose of redemption, Jesus forgot his place and chose to be subordinate to someone He was in fact equal with.
So, Likewise Ye wives. Just as Jesus…
you are equal with your husbands. But for the sake of carrying out God’s purpose for your marriage, you’re asked to subordinate yourself to him. It’s simply for the sake of orderliness. Think about a car with two drivers. That car will likely crash. Not that other people in the vehicle cannot drive. No matter how much proficiency they have in driving, they need to submit to one person to drive while the rest of them provide their support.
Can I ask you wife, are you keeping this Likewise? Does your husband really feel respected in his day to day relationship with you? Can he really testify of you that you’re a submissive and respectful wife? Forget who he is and how he behaves, focus on your own independent personal obligation to be like Jesus.
Those who followed this likewise came back to testify how that rather than becoming subjugated, they saw their husbands at their beck and call. His love for them grew in leaps and bounds. Within a short time, they actually became the head of the home while the man remained a mere figure head. I’m sure you saw the testimony I shared in the last episode showing that many of those you call toxic men will be conquered this way.
But those social media self-appointed counsellors who counsel otherwise, how many of them have happy homes? How many of the anti-bible feminists have been able to hold their homes together? How many of them have been able to conquer their husbands with arrogance and insubordination? The few who succefully cowed their men this way, are they really enjoying the best of those men?
You follow your Likewise with spartan commitment – Be like Jesus all the way, and you’ll come back with unbelievable testimonies.
Peniela E. Akintujoye.
©️Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| firstname.lastname@example.org