I believe that our value for peace and commitment to same in our relationships/marriages will astronomically increase when we realize it’s actually a commandment from the Lord – disobedience to which has dire consequences. On the other hand, obedience to this instruction attracts immense blessings.
“Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord.” Hebrews 12:14. Two things we must follow after to guarantee our seeing the Lord. Peace with all men and holiness!
Of course the first man we are to follow peace with is our spouse. They are the closest human beings to us. And any instruction from the word showing us our duty towards men must begin with that one who shares the same life with us. Marriage therefore is the first platform to demonstrate our obedience to all of the Bible’s instructions.
Follow peace with your wives and husbands without which you won’t see the Lord. You may declare a seven days fasting and prayer because you want to have an encounter with God – you may need His quick intervention in your health, career, business – but as long as there is bitterness and unforgiveness in your heart towards your spouse or anyone else; God won’t show Himself to you. He is a God who places immense value on peace, love and forgiveness.
Wasn’t this the reason Jesus counselled, if your brother has something against you, don’t bother offering any sacrifice in church? First go and reconcile with your brother and then come back. Any sacrifice you offer in malice and unforgiveness is a complete waste. God will not accept it.
In Mark 11 when Jesus was teaching on prayer, he stated without ambiguity, “when you stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any…’ Without this condition of forgiveness, all your labour in prayer will be a waste. You won’t see God in that prayer effort. God will elude you.
And you know what, anything that disqualifies you from seeing God now can disqualify you from seeing God throughout all eternity. Being a peacemaker and walking in holiness are indispensable conditions of seeing God face to face at the end of our sojourn in this world. Hebrews 12:14 asserts, without these conditions, NO MAN – no matter how highly placed – shall see the Lord.
What are we fighting over that is worth sacrificing my access to God over? Or my eternal inheritance? Please take it. If my wife wants to cheat me, let her cheat me. If she slaps me on the right cheek, I want to turn the left to her. If she takes my clothe forcefully, I want to hand over my tunics too. Anything for peace please!
The reason there’s so much fights and struggles in many of our marriages is because we don’t want to be cheated by our spouses. We’re so conscious of our rights – we are feminists and chauvinists – and we’re ready to fight for it at the slightest infraction. Unfortunately that’s not the attitude that sustains marital peace. You know what the bible says; “Marriage is not a place to stand up for your rights. Marriage is a decision to serve the other whether in bed or out.” I Cor 7:4 MSG.
Why don’t you allow yourself to be cheated so that God can fight for you? God never fights for people who can fight for themselves. It’s usually when you come to the end of yourself that God can take over. He is a better fighter. Let him vindicate you at His own time and in His own way. Say no to self help.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.” Mathew 5:9. Those are the words of our Lord Jesus.
“Madam fighter’; “Madam sharp mouth”; “madam I can’t take rubbish”; “Brother quarrelsome”; critical of everything; judgmental about everything; you’ve fought all your in-laws they don’t come to your house anymore. And your husband cannot talk because you’ll smoke him alive. Even him is afraid of you. At work, you don’t have friends because you have issues with everybody. As far as Jesus is concerned, you should never be called a child of God.
It’s not about speaking in tongues and attending vigils. This is the matter! Are you a peacemaker?
You know why today I’m totally intolerant of anything quarrelsome and malicious? Anything that will classify me as not being a child of God is a big turn off.
So anytime I see quarrel brewing in my home and I’m tempted towards malice, I quickly remember:
1. This will make me resemble a child of the devil. Nothing can be more defamatory in my estimation.
2. This will block my access to God in the place of prayer.
3. This can rob me of my eternal inheritance in Christ Jesus.
But if I follow peace in the midst of the greatest provocation to anger and malice, it will confirm me as a true child of God and all the blessings God has promised to those who are His children will be mine.
I choose peace. Malice is too costly for my small pocket. What about you? What do you choose?
Peniela E. Akintujoye.
©️Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| firstname.lastname@example.org