Exactly this time last year, I married my beloved wife, Iyebiye. As we escaped from the reception hall into the long night of bliss for the first time as a married couple, we looked forward with confidence to what the future held for us and our marriage.
I for one had no fear that the union will be a success. And my confidence was premised on the fact that first we had a thorough courtship where we had test-run successfully all the important aspects of a christian marriage except the bodily union. And so I was sure I was marrying someone I knew thoroughly. I expected no suprises. One year after, we can confirm there isn’t anything serious about ourselves that we have known in the last one year that we didn’t know during the four years of our courtship.
Beyond this, as we came into this marriage, we were committed to run it in line with the principles of the Bible. And so as long as the bible doesn’t fail, whatever is built on it cannot. This sealed our confidence.
Back in the days before I got married, when I started sharing some of the principles I was learning about making marriage a success, many people dismissed it because I wasn’t married. Many told me when I get married, I will know how really difficult it is to be at peace with women. I was really never moved by any of those talks. I was sure of the efficacy of God’s word to deliver results if followed with spartan commitment.
One year after, I am happy to announce to all those who had that opinion that yes, marriage has its peculiar challenges not because marriage has a problem in itself but because marriage removes the veil from our character deficiencies, emotional weakness and inability to forbear and tolerate other people. The problem therefore is not really marriage but our human (unconverted) nature. Marriage only exposes that nature in its raw vicious form.
I will contend of a truth that you cannot be sure of the life of Christ that you claim to have developed until it is proven by marriage. Indeed, a patience that has not married is an untested patience; a self-control that has not married is not yet bullet-proof.
It is easy to control yourself with someone who may offend you and you may not see yourselves again for another week, but your self control and capacity to forbear in love is really tested when the person that insulted you and is driving you crazy is your bedmate – you still have to share the same bed that night – no way to avoid him/her – and this is someone who is pressing forward in driving you crazy in a present continuous sense. It is at this point that you’ll know whether the new life you carry is authentic or a mere window-dress.
This is really what makes marriage falter; including the homes of many Christians and pastors. The problem is always a Jesus deficiency syndrome. And mark you, the deficiency has always been there covered up with several make-ups, church activities, tongues, beautiful dresses and high sounding christian-ese, but nevertheless well sited. Marriage is only a revealer. There’s no hiding place for Mr. Flesh in marriage. He will be embarrassingly exposed.
And so yes, we’ve had our resolve to act Jesus at all times severely brought under pressure on different occasions in the last one year – but the good news is that the life in us prevailed. The last 365 days have been dominated by peace, joy and genuine fellowship. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t say so. The quarrels happen but they are less frequent. And when they come they don’t last not because they didn’t plan to last, but because the life of Christ quels the inferno at their formative stages.
For the benefit of a lot of people who look up to us, we will share in bits every two days from today, those practical principles of God’s word that we adopted as the constitution of our marriage; which have delivered to us one year of true joy, peace and amiable partnership. And since we will remain committed to those principles that are eternally sure, we are sure it will deliver for the next ten years and twenty years and as long as our marriage shall last.
Come with us on this journey. Even if you’ve been married long before now, with humility we say it doesn’t matter. One may have been long in marriage doing the wrong things. So it’s not about the length. It’s about whether you’ve been following the word. We are certain that these principles will deliver to you the same thing, true peace and joy, the “happy ever after” that you’ve always dreamed of.
We will continue this series by 5pm on Tuesday. Don’t miss it.
We appreciate all your kind wishes and love on this joyous anniversary. God bless you.
And to you my beloved Iyebiye, I deeply appreciate you for making this journey so beautiful. I see how you stretch yourself each day to conform to this image that we’re both beholding with unveiled faces.
Thank you for the good and timely meals. I’m now so chubby and my tummy is coming out. ??
Thank you for the pain of accomodating and entertaining my endless guests and disciples.
Thank you for helping me to organize several details of my domestic life up to the under-wears I put on. Before I’m done using a set, new ones are on ground for my use.
Thank you for loving and accomodating my family as much as you love yours.
Thank you for denying yourself several luxuries so we can invest in the ministry and in our businesses.
Thank you for commiting to ensuring our sexual life remains on fire and without network failure.
Thank you for that determination that anything I complain about, I will never have a reason to complain a second time because you’ll change it there and then. You tell me this all the time.
What else would any man pray for? You’re the best and I love you so dearly.
Happy anniversary to us. Please be my wife forever.
Peniela E. Akintujoye.
©️Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| firstname.lastname@example.org