You know I was not privileged like some of you to have married the first person (or even the third 🙈🙈) God recommended to me as His choice at different point in time. This peculiarity of my own journey allowed me to observe several things that many others may not have.
I noticed that everyone of the people that God had one time or the other pointed at as His choice for me were essentially the same. They may not have shared similar physical qualities or academic discipline but in the essence of their make-up, they were the same kind of people. They were made up of the same essentials relevant to the peculiarity of assignment God was giving my life.
And so overtime, I was able to recognise the kind of people that fell within the spiritual prototype of my help-meet.
Of course, among the several who may be within that spiritual prototype, we will still need the guidance of the Spirit of God to know which one He is recommending at any particular point in time. But at least, recognising the spiritual prototype helps you to settle a major question: who it cannot be.
Last week, we settled the matter that God envisions our partners PRIMARILY from the perspective of the peculiarity of His assignment for each of our lives. (You need to read last week’s talk if you haven’t. Today’s talk will not have full effect if you don’t). A partner, no matter how much you cling to them, that is not relevant to God’s call on your life is useless to your journey as far as God is concerned.
And so, for every kind of assignment, there is a spiritual prototype of persons that can fit that assignment.
Not just one person falls within that prototype or else there is just one person you can marry and if that person rejects you, you can’t marry anyone else. That will be an absurd thought. Yet, not every sweet sister or brother you meet falls within your own specific prototype range. Why you can’t even marry anyone and everyone just merely because they are born again; except you don’t care about excellent execution of God’s assignment in your hands.
Now this is the crux of the matter and I wish you pay attention at this point. How do you understand the spiritual prototype of your help meet or whom you are called to help? It is by first getting a clear knowledge of your life’s assignment from the Lord; because your spiritual prototype would be that person who shares a history of a similar passion, preparation and equipping for that kind of assignment.
The beauty of recognising the spiritual prototype of your help-meet through a clear knowledge of your life’s assignment from God is that in the process of your choice, you’re able to reduce your margin of error to the barest minimum.
I am called for instance to the mountain of religion and government. Settled beyond doubt!!! Let’s say we began to get close, and I already began to wonder if there’s something more to our friendship. And one of those days, you said something like, “I just want to serve my God quietly and make enough money in business. To be a Pastor’s wife? Not me.”
That day, I’ll know immediately that you can’t be the person no matter how much I admire every other thing about you. You may be the right person for Brother C whom God has called to the mountain of Business/Economy to make a lot of money to support the gospel; but not me. Though I do business and invest, I am not called to be a full-time minister on that mountain. Everyone must stay within his call. And everyone ought to marry his call-mate!!!
My spiritual prototype as I observed from those God had specifically pointed out over time are usually very excited about God and church (those hard runners after God); they possess a strong capacity to influence people in personality and speech (being able to clearly teach), in addition to having the poise that fits the office of the First Lady of a State. 🤣🤣
If you aren’t called to be a preacher, you may not need a wife that can teach for instance (except she’s a Lecturer 🤣🤣.) It’s about the call and the necessary equipping that can help it. Therefore, no prototype is inferior to the other. It’s about what God is preparing you to do.
I want to end this talk with a note of warning and I beg God that He will help you to catch this important word.
There is a danger in ignoring today’s talk and making a choice of a marriage partner without first settling the knowledge of God’s call for you.
One day, you will get scared about facing God on the last day and He is saying to you, “You lived for 75 years while you were on earth for every other thing but the very reason why we sent you there in the first place. You’re an unprofitable servant.” The day the Lord finally captures your heart with this godly fear, you will finally be ready to know His purpose for you and run with it. But by then, you’ve married someone that is totally a wrong prototype for your call.
Or you are reading this and you’re already very clear about God’s call and you know that this person you’re in a relationship with (or considering a relationship with) will only frustrate God’s grace on your life. My advice is that you back out now.
You will likely be lonely and helpless in that assignment and therefore unable to come close to your fullest potentials. For some people, their partners outrightly frustrated that assignment and prevented it from seeing the light of the day at all.
Every day you wake up and see others making progress in their purpose, a sharp agony will cut through your heart: the agony of a wasted life; the agony of coming short of what the grace of God could have made out of your own life also.
You will remember all the revelations of exploit that God showed you back in the University and you’ll be wondering if those things can still come to pass considering that at forty-five, your husband has not even agreed yet that you have a call worth pursuing and he adds, “If you insist that you have a so-called call, just know that you’re on your own regarding it. And don’t think that you can use any of this family’s resources towards its actualisation.”
Young sister, will you make a definite decision today about this relationship you claim you’re in? Despite all that Heaven is saying concerning you, isn’t it foolhardy that you’re confessing love for this guy (not qualified to be called a brother) whose salvation is not even clear? Someone who is constantly pressuring you for sex? And you’re deceiving yourself that he’s born again? After marriage, you’ll see his true colour. He will start by complaining that your prayer is disturbing him until he bans you from going to Church outright. We’ve seen this kind of thing happen over and over.
I am praying today that the mighty hand of our God will be stretched out towards everyone reading this who is imprisoned in such wrong partnership to drag you out in the name of Jesus. Your purpose will not die. It will flourish and answer to the cry of nations in Jesus mighty name.
If you’re married already, hope is not lost. Go to the maker who said to Adam, “I will make you a help.” He can make and re-make into whatever shape or prototype He desires. Labour in prayer until the making is done.
But if you aren’t married, don’t even take the chance. Get it right straight away. Re-making can take a while because it requires the cooperation of a free moral agent who may not be interested initially. May you be wise.
I hope that by today and last Sunday’s talk, I have made enough case for why you should seek to know your purpose NOW as a critical foundation to identifying and making the right choice of a spouse.
No wonder someone said, “you can meet a life partner anywhere but you can only meet your help-meet in Eden, the place of assignment.”
Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye.
©Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| firstname.lastname@example.org