Several years ago, I was minding my own business when the Lord began to reach out to me about this particular sister who I didn’t even know intimately at the time. I set out days of fasting and prayer to further confirm God’s leading on the matter. But something was amazing about the whole thing; every conviction that the Lord brought was woven around revelations about the assignment he has for my life.

I must say that I received more clarity about my calling and life assignment from the Lord during that period of marital enquiry (which spanned about six months) more than at any other time.

The prayer point that brought me to the place of prayer was, “Lord, what is it about this sister? What are you saying exactly?” When God was to answer – imagine His answer was contained in two fullscap sheets, one and three quarter of the sheets were about His assignment for me: “you will do this and this and that.” I’m like, “Oh really? But how is that relevant to the issue of the sister?” Then He was like, “yeah, the sister is from this background and has received this and that equipping… You can see that that fits the peculiarity of the assignment I’m giving to you…”

From that point, it became very clear to me that God only thinks about marriage within the context of purpose (your life’s calling and assignment is what I mean by purpose). Hear this very well, God isn’t going to be committed to fixing you up in marriage if He is not sure that the marriage will be primarily deployed for the execution of His own agenda for you. If it is about fulfilling your own agenda and plan for your life, it won’t attract the commitment of God.

In other words, if you have not first downloaded God’s assignment for your life and shown clear traces of your commitment to it, as far as God is concerned, you don’t need marriage. And if you insist that you need it, then you’ll have to sort it out yourself.

This is because, when God established marriage at the beginning, He did primarily to enhance the productivity of Adam in his ministry- the ministry God had given to him. Why God called the woman “Help.” Means there was a work Adam was doing. The issues of child rearing, sexual intimacy and the likes were totally secondary.

This is why in His choice of a marriage partner for you, He doesn’t look first at the physical appearance or sexual fertility record or tribal affiliation
or academic qualification or financial capacity but the details of your assignment and who possesses the equipping that is relevant to it. He will only look at any of these other secondary parameters in a choice for you if such parameter is itself part of the equipping relevant to the helping of the specific assignment He is giving you.

When I hear some of your frustrations about finding a suitable marriage partner for so long; how all the people coming your way are harlots, drunkards and womanizers; how the entire narrative doesn’t suggest the involvement of the hand of the Lord; I do have a suspicion that perhaps God is not involved in the whole process; and that can only be because you’re seeking marriage for other purposes different from God’s assignment for your life.

(Unfortunately, at over twenty years of age, some of you have never found out from God the assignment for which He sent you to the world more than twenty years ago and you are not worried about the reality of your ignorance and the possible agony of a wasted life if you continue this way.)

If God is the one personally seeking a partner for you, it shouldn’t be this difficult and frustrating. He knows who perfectly fits your life and He knows how to mobilise them towards you.

Please hear this carefully. The easiest way to drag God into your search for a life partner is to enter into a covenant of exchange with Him. I entered into this covenant in 2008.

At that time, I was busy running after the girls in our town. I was so worried about marrying a decent girl that I felt the only way was to catch them young before they would fall into the hands of the wrong guys. I was so committed to this mission – and who were these girls I was chasing? They were already very wild girls who I thought were still innocent.

It was around this time that God lured me to attend a meeting where He encountered me violently. Sensing what preoccupied my heart at the time, God needed to settle it. He told me, “Concerning your marriage, leave it to me, I will settle it. I will give you the best. This and this is my calling for your life. You focus on preparing for that while I take care of your marriage.” That was the covenant of exchange. I handed over my marital project to Him while He handed over to me a portion of His eternal project upon the earth.

Since that day, I focused solely on preparing for my assignment. And I can tell you, God always was the one that goes out of His way to seek out prospects for me sometimes when I’m not even looking for one like He did in the story I opened this talk with. If someone rejects my proposal, I’ll simply go back to Him and before long, He has sought out someone else that falls within the same spiritual prototype. And if He was asking me to wait as He sometimes did, at least I had a word from God to hold on to.

My friend, do you want to marry the best? Do you want God to personally take up your marital settlement project?Are you tired of trying to fix things yourself? The solution is to enter into a covenant of exchange with the Lord. There is no other way to attract God’s commitment. God is only committed to His purpose on the surface of the earth. Anyone who will earn God’s commitment to his life can only earn it as he aligns with God’s purpose on the earth.

When I experienced that violent encounter I mentioned above, the first thing God settled was my slavery to sin. The encounter infused me with a fresh baptism of the Holy Spirit that gave me strength to walk with God in unbroken sanctification without struggle or personal effort. That is the first thing God wants to settle in your life. God cannot commit any assignment to a slave of sin. Sacred matters cannot be committed to swine. He cannot hope to take to His own battle a soldier that wears the uniform of His enemy.

On that day, as God was extricating me from that slavery by the power of His Spirit, He was placing a charge of His mandate upon my head. I pray that this will be your own experience right now also in the name of Jesus. It will be a double work. As you are being violently freed from sin, God will be giving you a mantle of ministry – a charge of His assignment for you.

If you’re making a decision, you can go on your knees (or bow your head) wherever you are and talk to the Lord right away. If you will need further counselling or guidance, please write us a mail or use the private message option on top of the page and we’ll reach out to you.

In the coming weeks, we’ll dig deeper into how you can recognise and step into your purpose and how you’ll meet your help meet in the process. Ensure you don’t miss any of the talks.

This season is your season of marital settlement by the Lord Himself in the mighty name of Jesus.

For a related talk, search for A SHARED MANDATE at

Your brother,
Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye.

┬ęPeniela Eniayo, Akintujoye|


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