Marriage indeed can be a stepping stone into wealth. Some people just got lucky to have met someone who is well to do, and on account of that marriage, they entered into wealth permanently. Think about Esther. Marriage transformed her life from being a slave girl to becoming the First Lady of a Powerful nation, flying around in Presidential jets.
It is therefore not surprising that women generally like to maximize the one-time choice of who to marry, if possible to enter into wealth and make their future more secured. This is where men with less material capacity come short in their estimation.
But it’s not just a female thing. Men silently don’t mind too. Anything to make the journey easier is welcome. Only insecure men are worried about marrying into a wealthy home or having their partner more wealthy than they are. Most other men don’t mind marrying a wealthy man’s daughter and become incorporated into a lineage of privilege on account of this.
But since culturally this is more a woman issue, I’ll seem to focus more on women as they are more likely to have economic stereotypes regarding who they’ll like to marry.
No matter how much we fantasize about seeing marriage change our economic fortunes, the reality is that most of us will not marry ready-made men. Except you’ll be marrying a man far older than you- say 15-20 years older – the reality is that as a twenty five year old lady, most men within your marriageable range- five years or less older than you – are still largely trying to find their feet economically in today’s Nigeria.
The unemployment rate is high. Those who have jobs at all are largely underpaid. At the same time, their little income is getting ravaged by double digit inflation rate which rises continuously. Thankfully you’re in the same country. You also know how tough things are. How much have you yourself been able to earn with the same certificate as the one he carries. What magic do you then expect these guys to perform?
This is not to say that there aren’t a few exceptional guys who made it big at a young age or inherited humongous wealth from their parents? But that’s what they are. Exceptions. They aren’t the general rule. What’s their percentage? It’s safer for you to work with the general rule.
Outside this miniature percentage of early achievers, the rest of us, we are the ones that will have to break the shackles of poverty in our lineage beginning with ourselves. And why should we be afraid of this task? Some of the people we wish we marry their children, they didn’t inherit wealth from their own parents, they were born poor but walked their way to the top by a dint of hard work and uncomonn determination. Why can’t I accept the task of doing that for my own descendants too?
We must recognise that the story that God wants to use each of our lives to write is not the same. Some people’s stories are grace to grace, but for some of us the story will be grass to grace. And you know what, grass to grace stories are more exciting and captivating.
Maybe we should be content with who God brings our way then even if they aren’t wealthy people. Though our beginnings be small, our latter end shall greatly increase.
What matters is drive. And faith too. Faith to draw grace for supernatural advancement. And note that to be a man of faith requires being a man of prayer. Does this guy have drive? Is he a man of faith? Is he ambitious? Does he match his ambition with hard work or he’s just a big talker who will never lift his finger? Does he take interest in the subject of money? How many books on money and investing has he read and is he applying? This is very important.
Financial success goes beyond having a job or possessing a skill. Many have been on a job for decades and are still very broke and it is not even enough to run a business; except it is run in line with proven principles of entrepreneurship. Sustainable financial success depends on a progressive possession of the knowledge of the laws of money and a spartan application of same. If this factors are present, then the future is bright. If they aren’t, courtship can be a time to bury your heads in these things.
Now, you see all the questions I asked you to ask about him? Ask them about yourself. Are you driven? Are you a person of prayer and faith? Are you learning about money and investing? etc Your likelihood of becoming wealthy is better enhanced if the two of you are committed to wealth creation at the same pace.
As we’re about to begin to seek God’s face as to who He has prepared for us, may every economic stereotype give way. May we rather be determined to make a financial success of our home regardless of where we may have to begin from.
Peniela E. Akintujoye.
©️Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| firstname.lastname@example.org