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Physical attraction is important in a relationship because it leads to greater physical intimacy and connection, helping partners feel more bonded and attached to each other. (Sabrina Romanoff, PSYD).

However, the factors that are responsible for physical attraction are quite complex and numerous that it can be foolhardy for anyone to stereotype the kind of people they think they will find attractive.

Some of the factors that have been identified as responsible for physical attraction include facial features and symmetry; physical dimensions; facial expressions like smiling or frowning; the sound of the voice of the person; body scent, intellectual capacity; similarity of values or interests; personality (extrovert, introvert, openness, agreeableness etc); and character among others.

You sometimes fall in love with people and find them extremely attractive only when you engage them in an intellectual discussion, handle an assignment together, serve with them in a leadership position or relate with them closely in a platonic friendship. These are people that had you not have something to do with them closely, you could not have had any serious excitement about them merely by the physical qualities they possess.

As you sometimes touch the character of someone coupled with their personality traits, you grow in deep emotional connection with them, and physical attraction then builds in the same direction. This was someone you didn’t find physically attractive at the beginning.

It then means that physical attractiveness which is often limited to complexion, facial asymmetry and bodily dimensions (height or size) aren’t the only factors that influence physical attraction.

This is why it is not wise to turn people down at first sight. There are those you love at first sight but there are those you only love as you get to know them more intimately; and yet the love will grow to become so strong and long-lasting.

If you think you only get attracted to light complexioned people, you’re sometimes shocked when you meet a dark-complexioned person with some personality traits and you’re blown off your feet. You believe you won’t like someone that is tall (yes, some not too tall men don’t want their wives to be taller than them) until you meet my mother, and then her carriage, disarming smile, chastity and spirituality sweeps you off your feet and you can’t believe yourself as you spiral down into the pit of emotional love.

The summary of all I’ve been struggling to share with you is that in your quest to receive who God has prepared for you in marriage, do away with physical stereotypes as unknown to you, there is a wide range of people beyond what you think that you will find completely exciting when you access the mix of all the graces that God has parceled into them.

Be open-minded therefore. Maintain no hard stance. Let God be free to lead you or bring people your way who will be a blessing to your life’s journey.

Remember further that in the end no one is really flawless. You too. We all have our areas of strength and weaknesses. And many weaknesses can be enhanced. Dress senses can be improved within a short time. Spoken English can be polished. Some people only need to identify the style of clothes that fit their body type and their beauty will shoot out. Imperfect dentitions can be corrected. We can go on and on. You shouldn’t miss out on God’s help to your life due to little weaknesses that can be fixed (or overlooked).

Again some people are not yet so fine because they’ve not yet started working and earning well to eat balanced diets and to afford quality skin care products. Some people will regret rejecting their old school mates for looking so lean and haggard when they finally meet them a few years after and every contour on their faces have been filled up while several desirable fixtures and fittings that were invisible have become impressively manifest.

Some of us were not this handsome back in school. When I see today some of my own pictures taken when I was in final year (when I thought I was already cute?), I understand why some people never accepted my proposal. ?? But today, the story is different. And we are really just about to start life.??

May you not miss out on someone’s glorious future because of the temporary limitations of their present life which affected your ability to perceive them correctly.

Don’t waste more time in the Singles’ market. Let all stereotypes give way and let the will of the Lord prevail.

Your brother,
Peniela E. Akintujoye

©️Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| hello@lovestraighttalks.com


Image credit: @focusnblur

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