The phone rang. It was my wife. She had called from work to inform me that there was no food in the house that we could eat upon her return. I was home because I was working from home.
“Ok then, let me send some money to your account so you can branch the market on your way back.”
“I don’t feel like going to the market joor. I’m quite tired.” That was her indirectly suggesting I go to the market to get the ingredients.
I hesitated for a moment trying to adjust myself to the idea I will have to step out of the house. Besides it had been a while I went to the market to buy ingredients. Since I married, the President had been fully in charge. I had introduced her to all my vendors.
“Ok, no problem, I’ll go to the market. What should I buy?”
When I got to the market, all my old customers were happy to see me. “Long time o. We’ve not been seeing you.”
“You’ve been seeing my wife. Or you don’t recognize my wife?”
“Yes, we do. How is she?”
When I got back home, I thought, “let me just cook the soups so I make her more happy.”
On her arrival she met cooked soups that could serve us for some days. She was too happy.
I’ve only had a single occasion of going to the market like this since we married but certainly that single occasion helped to perpetuate peace.
The goal of sharing this is to inform all my co Vice-Presidents that the job of that office may sometimes involve beyond simply cooking what has been purchased but also going to the market. It’s good to know how to purchase ingredients, how to negotiate price and get a good deal. If not, you’ll be utterly helpless the day Madam President is unavailable or needs your intervention in that department.
If you’re still single, it’s time to start practicing going to the market to make purchases yourself. If you’re married already and you’re deficient in this aspect, then it’s good if you start following your wife once in a while to the market so that they day you need to step in you’ll know how to step in competently.
Beyond this, you must never be too big to run other little errands for your wife to assist her kitchen and other domestic work. “Sweetheart, please can you quickly help me buy Maggi at the store at the junction.” Don’t say, “a whole me, to go and buy Maggi?”
I am a frequent visitor to the grocery store closest to our home. There’s nothing I don’t go there to buy. Maggi, salt, egg, biscuits (my wife is the biscuit master). Sometimes, she’ll have to give me the wrap of the biscuit so I won’t forget the name before I get there. When I get there and present the wrap, they’ll sometimes laugh at me. They knew my wife sent me. On other occasions, they’ll jibe at me and say, “where is the wrap today?”
Admittedly on one occasion, the thought crossed my mind, “what will these people even be thinking? That you often come to buy petty things like Maggi, Salt and the likes while your wife is at home. Is that not belittling of you as a husband, lawyer and CEO?” I quickly answered the thought, “what’s anyone’s business with how I run my home? If they like they should use their own wives like rag. A wise man must know how to build his house.” Who says only a woman should be wise?
When the children arrive and they grow up, they can take over some of these things, but for now, you’re the only one that can help this woman. In any case, the whole work in your household is yours primarily as the Head and President General of that home – including even your wife. She’s your work. You have responsibility to take care of even her. She has only come to help you to do the work. Why should you then be ashamed to help with gratefulness someone who actually is doing what ought to have been your work.
A lot of brokenness is required in this regard. Be broken enough to run errands. To go help her pick her clothes from the line; to help her get her bag from the other room; to assist her to wash her underwears and other petty tasks, even when it’s not on your own volition, but upon her request.
It’s part of God’s school for us to be emptied of all pride. To become humble as a servant and in the process become more like Jesus. Don’t abscond from this school of the Spirit dear brother. Stay there and do it with such joy and pride that you’re becoming like the Shepherd and Bishop of your soul, the Lord Jesus Christ, who though was Lord of all came to serve rather than to be served! Mathew 20:28. Let this mindset of service rather than status be in you as it was also in Christ Jesus!
Peniela E. Akintujoye.
©️Peniela Eniayo, Akintujoye| firstname.lastname@example.org